jump to navigation

Why is Change So Scary? November 27, 2009

Posted by jetson in Personal.
Tags: , , , , , ,

I am an American citizen currently living in the United States of America. I am a working class, middle-income person with an average sized family. I have three boys from a previous marriage (all over 19 years old now), and a young boy from my current marriage of fourteen years with a woman who is simply amazing to be around. I’m lucky to have ever crossed paths with her, and now she gave me another wonderful young boy who I am so very proud of!

I tell you about my “place” in this country because it is important to know that we all have a current “place.” And as averages go, most of us change places over time. Perhaps the change is not always seen as positive, but it is change nonetheless. I embrace change, usually. I certainly recognize change when it happens, and I usually make the best of it. If I ever have trouble embracing the change that seems to be inevitable, I make change happen on purpose (I think that’s what we usually do anyway, even if we don’t recognize it happening.) So we have change at a personal level, but what about change at a much higher level?

This country has experienced tons of change over its short history. We have seen all sorts of social change that most people agree is for the best. We have abolished slavery, we have given women equal rights as humans, and we are getting much better at accepting that some humans are homosexual, and deserve the same human rights as everyone else. We have come a long way as well towards granting the handicapped a much easier way in life once we recognized that they are still human! What drove all of this change?

It is who we are. The people that wrote the constitution were trying their very best to understand and accept that we all don’t agree, we don’t think alike, we don’t believe the same things, but we are all humans. Isn’t that a basic summary of what they were trying to do when they wrote it? I’m not a scholar on the constitution, but I can read, and I can understand the spirit of the message. But when they wrote it, we had slaves. Even they didn’t completely understand that what they were doing was hypocritical if slaves were allowed to continue being sold, traded, and owned. We continued, as a nation, to proclaim our self-righteousness around our amazing constitution, while we owned and traded human beings – human beings!

So, we weren’t perfect, but we continue to change. We do the right thing, because it is the right thing to do. What choice do we have? Yet we still have a ways to go, don’t we? We still have citizens who want to impart their morals on others, as though they are right, and others are wrong. There are still millions of Americans who believe that being homosexual is wrong, and should be stopped. Imagine that – the cruelty and disgust aimed at a segment of humans who are homosexual is beyond comprehension by any truly caring individual.

There are still people who believe that this country is actually getting worse! Somehow, even though we are affording more humans the basic rights they deserve, we are going backwards. The reason for this type of belief can be summed up in one single word. Religion. Yes, religious beliefs are, in my opinion, the single strongest factor in supporting a belief that the changes we are making in this country are actually bad. What, exactly, are these people afraid of?

I will tell you what I have actually heard. I have heard that if same-sex couples were allowed to marry legally, they would then be able to adopt (something they can do in every state except Florida already), and then they will raise the children in an “unhealthy” way. I have heard that if we allow same-sex marriage, then we should allow a man to marry his dog – or allow a man to marry a twelve year old girl. I have heard that if we legalize marijuana, then we will have to legalize every other drug, no matter how toxic or dangerous, or benign it may actually be. Even though people don’t die from smoking marijuana, nor are they killed like the thousands by alcohol related accidents, it is illegal. We can’t make progress with this type of thinking.

We all need to embrace change when it is for the greater good. We cannot use religious beliefs as a guideline for morals, because it would be impossible to consider all of the religions and their moral tenets. We MUST embrace the morals that societies accept in general, as a group of humans who live and work cooperatively among each other. We all know that killing another human is usually wrong, but can we agree on when it is right? Is it ever right to kill, or murder? Would you kill another human to save your own life? Would you kill another human to save a loved one, or a friend, what about a stranger?

Religions don’t have the answers because they are exclusive, and they don’t consider that others who don’t believe in their god are not obligated to go along with a particular set of morals. It has never worked, and it will NEVER work to use a specific religion to drive societal morals. In fact, the more someone tries to impart the morals of their religion or their god upon others, the more those morals are rejected and dismissed – because they are not warranted in most cases.

Don’t waste your time trying to impress others with your self-righteous, personal beliefs on how everyone else “should” behave. Get over yourself. There are no perfect set of morals in our world, there are only sets that we all can live with as a group, which means compromise. Aren’t Christians compromising today when they allow the legal system to deal with adultery as opposed to stoning the adulterers to death, as The Bible declares? Yes, they are compromising, and they have been doing so for thousands of years, as we learn more and more about how to live together, and how to treat each other with respect.

Don’t be afraid of the changes that we are embracing, and the changes that are yet to come. We don’t change in order to make things worse. We change in order to make things better, and more fair to all humans and their basic rights. There is not a single argument on this planet that would ever convince me that same-sex couples don’t deserve the exact same legal rights as heterosexuals. Especially if the argument comes from some god based belief – those are the worst arguments. Embrace what makes this country better. Enjoy your religions in your homes and churches. No one is trying to remove that basic right.



No comments yet — be the first.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: